david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Randomize