the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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