i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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