We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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