i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
