if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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