My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
