you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You are a genius and a whore.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
