she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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