they need to just BURY HIM!
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
