bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
