My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
