trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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