I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
