he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
