So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
