Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize