Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
