I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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