last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize