is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
