i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
