I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Yo dont text me then not text me
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
