UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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