The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
