How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
