i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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