We need to start having sex underwater more often.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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