what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize