My Higher Power is John Stamos
false alarm. still invincible.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
