so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
