life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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