Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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