I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
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I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
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We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize