I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
