Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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