I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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