need another drink. this is the easiest way
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
In America we eat man semen.
she smelled like a LAN party
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
