I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
