I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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