you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
