There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
