That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
