We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
