He uses pillows to masturbate.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
