you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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