Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
