We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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