I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
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I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
May the power of my ass compel you!!
How does one acquire holy water?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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