Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
