I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize