I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
