I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
