Apparently you make a good broom.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
