I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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