cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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