Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
