Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
