whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
