i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
