We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
