I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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