we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm sobbing to NWA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize