She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
