I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
