Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
