you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
