let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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