1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize