can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
