My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize