Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
