What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
